Chapter 99: Side Effect Shock
by GideonIn an instant, he drew me into his embrace. His broad shoulders and strong arms wrapped around me, and I could feel his warmth seeping into my skin.
The pressure of his tight hug stole my breath for a moment, but I didn’t mind.
“Thank you,” he murmured, his breath tickling my neck as he stifled a laugh. “I’m just so happy…”
I’m the one who should be thanking you. If you’re this touched by such a simple birthday gift, I’ll start feeling guilty…
Zion’s palms, pressed against my back, felt hot and heavy.
My breath was still ragged, and I wanted to stay in his arms just a little longer, but…
I couldn’t leave any room for more misunderstandings. I gently patted his waist, signaling him to calm down.
“People will misunderstand if they see us like this.”
“It won’t be a misunderstanding if we’re dating.”
He hugged her tight one last time, then slowly loosened his grip.
“Still thinking it over?” he added.
Another playful yet sincere overture.
It wasn’t just his large frame; the sheer scale of his feelings for her felt immense. Being with him was always a source of strength, but it also carried a heavy, overwhelming weight.
“You can hold me instead of a doll when you watch horror movies,” he murmured, his low voice tickling her ear and sending a shiver down her spine. “And if your pheromones get out of control, you can just come to me. Doesn’t that sound convenient?”
His casual offer to be her personal resource—to be used at her convenience—made her heart ache.
As Zion continued his subtle persuasion, Jubin let out a soft sigh and relaxed her body.
“Zion.”
She gently pushed against his chest. He, who never budged under her strength, gave way with surprising ease this time.
“I’ve thought about it…”
“Let’s talk more about this at home.”
Sensing the sudden chill in the air, Zion stopped his playful attempts to goad Jubin into a confession.
In truth, I should have just done this from the start, instead of dragging things out.
“It’s not that I don’t like you,” Jubin said, “but I don’t think we can date.”
Zion met his words with silence.
“Thank you for liking me. But this is who I really am. I don’t love anyone.”
Still, Zion remained silent.
“Let’s just focus on finishing our project responsibly.”
After delivering his final words, Jubin walked out of the waiting room.
I was a coward to the end.
Zion was too good for someone like him. He deserved a better person, someone who could make him truly happy.
Will my future self ever understand why I’m killing my feelings for him now, all because I’m so terrified of loss?
No matter how much I agonize over it, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand. Whether this choice is the best one or a terrible mistake…
I’ve always been like this, letting everything slip through my fingers without ever holding on. Jubin pressed down on the heavy ache in his chest.
Of all days, I had to be so cruel on his birthday…
His heart felt like a lead weight with guilt, but regret was useless now. It was too late.
The shoot proceeded quickly as soon as the preparations were complete.
Jubin managed to stave off his hunger by eating some of the snacks Joo-won had bought whenever he had a free moment. Even a little more food would have made his stomach churn with nausea.
After he rejected the confession, Zion’s behavior had completely changed.
The affectionate gaze that had always followed him was gone, as was the easy, casual smile Zion used to wear.
At a glance, it seemed like Zion was just focused on work. But Jubin knew better. He had been cast out of the inner circle where he once basked in Zion’s warmth.
It was only natural, yet his heart still ached with a sharp, stabbing pain—the price for a consequence he had brought upon himself.
After all, Zion had always reserved his true kindness only for his own people. To everyone else, he offered nothing more than basic courtesy.
Perhaps his brain was interpreting the distance Zion had put between them as a genuine danger signal due to their imprinting, because the more the grueling shoot dragged on, the more his body began to waste away.
Still, he held himself together with professional resolve. He had a responsibility to his role, and he pushed through to finish the final scene.
“Cut! That’s a wrap, everyone!”
Director Bae Eun-hye’s final “OK” echoed through the set.
Ah, it’s over. Finally.
The moment I let my guard down, the thought of going home and crashing into bed like a corpse filled my mind.
“…Huh?”
My vision blurred.
“Sunbae!”
The world faded away.
Voices filtered through the dim darkness, their sounds lagging and distorted.
“Sunbae! Sunbae! Can you hear me? Sunbae, wake up!”
That was Do Zion’s voice.
I can hear you perfectly, but I just can’t open my eyes.
My body feels completely drained.
“This patient has three chips!”
“It looks like side-effect shock.”
“Get them to the operating room, now!”
I couldn’t tell who those voices belonged to. I couldn’t even tell if what I was hearing was a dream or reality.
“Beginning chip removal surgery.”
The words blurred dully, as if heard underwater, before snapping into sharp, rhythmic focus.
How long had I been unconscious? As I slowly inhaled and exhaled on the edge of consciousness, my head and body felt heavy.
The discomfort was too much to ignore, forcing me to pry my heavy eyelids open.
The sterile scent of cold disinfectant, the distinct smell of hospital sheets, and a ceiling so white it was blinding.
Am I in a hospital?
I tried to move my arm, but the IV taped to my skin and the bandages wrapped tightly around my wrist left my senses dull and sluggish.
In contrast, the pain was excruciatingly sharp.
“…It hurts.”
Just then, the hospital door swung open, and Zion rushed in, clutching a tumbler.
“Sunbae…! Ah, hot!”
He had run in without even closing the lid, and water splashed all over the floor.
Why would he bring hot water on a day this scorching?
Seeing him like that, my heart ached. I tried to calm him with a raspy voice.
“…Take your time.”
Jubin’s throat burned, feeling as if it had been scraped raw. Zion, who had rushed in, hurriedly shook the water from his hands as he asked, “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
As Zion approached, his pheromones washed over Jubin. His lower body reacted honestly, leaving Jubin to dart his eyes around in panic.
His throat felt like it was tearing apart, just as much as his lower half was aching.
“I need some water…”
“Ah, just a moment.”
Zion went to the mini-fridge and poured cold water into a tumbler. He seemed to be trying to prepare lukewarm water.
He carefully approached Jubin, inserting a straw he’d brought along into the tumbler and holding it to his lips. As Jubin slowly swallowed the lukewarm water, he felt like he could finally breathe again.
Jubin caught his breath, his gaze fixed on his own wrist. The pain radiated from the exact spot where the chip had been implanted.
There was no point in asking what had happened. The only thing that mattered now was that Zion knew the truth.
Jubin felt a wave of self-loathing wash over him.
“…Sorry. You must be disappointed.”
Zion was perched on a stool far too small for him, leaning forward with his upper body hunched. He looked up, his eyes piercing.
“You had three chips implanted, not two. You endured the side effects until you went into shock and collapsed. Am I supposed to believe you did all that just for the sake of the project?”
His questions, posed with such cold, methodical precision, made Jubin’s heart tighten painfully.
“Or was there another reason you were willing to go that far?”
He suppressed his anger, his voice low and biting. His green eyes, which always seemed to see through everything, were now clouded and dark.
Jubin licked his lips, hesitating to answer.
“The fact that you can’t even answer proves it. You got the chip implanted because of me.”
With everything laid bare, Jubin couldn’t hide his feelings or the truth anymore. He could only avoid the question.
“Ha…”
A hollow, mocking laugh escaped the man’s lips.
His broad shoulders—the ones Jubin had always found so vast and dependable—trembled slightly. His jaw tightened as he fought to keep his temper in check.
“I told you getting a chip was dangerous. I even offered to be your partner so you wouldn’t have to do it.”
Thank God this is a private room, Jubin thought. At least no one else can hear us.
“I’m sorry…”
Despite Jubin’s apology, Zion threw his head back, then let out a long breath and glared at him.
“Are you actually sorry? How could you make such a foolish choice?”
Unlike Zion, who had to resolve any discomfort or problem immediately, Jubin was the type to observe the situation and choose to endure it and adjust on his end if possible.
Of course, even if it meant an unfair compromise, it was still more comfortable for him.
“I couldn’t control the situation. There was no other way if I wanted to film with you.”
“When did you get it implanted?”
He could have begged Zion for his pheromones just once, avoiding the conflict and choosing temporary relief.
“When did you get the chip implanted?”
Every time he imagined that, a wave of misery washed over him. Wouldn’t you get sick of me? Wouldn’t you throw me away again?
“I added one during the first Action School class.”
“What about the last chip?”
“…”
“I’m asking when the last chip was.”
The words wouldn’t come.
Only now did he realize. He should have guarded against the heartbreaking possibility of being hated by Zion, rather than the fear of being abandoned.
“It wasn’t long ago. When I moved into your place…”
“Ha… fuck.”
It was the first time he’d ever sworn.
So Do Zion knows how to swear too…
It was probably a sigh of self-punishment, spat out because he couldn’t bear the anger he felt toward himself.
His complex emotions—sadness, anxiety, fear—must have exploded as simple rage. If he had truly cared for Zion, he should have worried more about the pain Zion would endure.
“I’m sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry, Zion.”
Jubin slowly sat up and looked at Zion, who kept his head bowed, face buried in his hands.
“Zion…”
Drip. Drop.
Tears fell onto the cold hospital floor.
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