Chapter 96: I Love You, Sunbae.
by GideonHis tone was too serious to dismiss as mere flirting today. It was as if he were trying to seize Jubin’s heart, making it impossible to ignore.
Jubin leaned in and pressed a light kiss to his lips, trying to match his mood.
“I like you, Zion. And thank you.”
I have to show him this much affection, Jubin thought. But Zion’s gaze remained somber, as if something were still missing.
“Not just ‘I like you,'” he said.
A heavy silence fell between them.
Just as the awkwardness of their locked gazes became unbearable, Jubin forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
“What’s with you all of a sudden? You’re making this awkward.”
“I saw everything.”
Jubin tilted his head. “Saw… what?”
“The things you’ve kept in your desk drawer.”
The gifts Zion had given him, the ones he had carefully tucked away in that drawer, flashed through Jubin’s mind.
“Can I… assume I’m not mistaken?”
Oh, what do I do?
Flustered, Jubin was the first to break eye contact.
The moment my feelings were exposed, my brain went into overdrive, frantically trying to survive.
“No, don’t get the wrong idea. It’s nothing special.”
I donned a mask of feigned nonchalance, desperate to hide the truth from him.
“I told you, I was just a fan. It’s just a token of my own satisfaction.”
For a moment, Zion’s eyes wavered.
“…Just… a fan’s heart?”
“Yeah. I’m probably one of your more reasonable fans, don’t you think?”
I had no choice but to feign innocence and push the narrative. Jubin even added an apology, pretending to be perfectly calm.
“Sorry for the misunderstanding.”
I’m the one imprinted on you, but you aren’t on me. I can’t steal the chance for you to find someone much better than me.
That’s how precious you are to me.
I suppressed these feelings, burying them deep inside.
“You don’t have to take my actions toward you too seriously, or even take them to heart.”
Just for today, I hope Zion will be the one to step back a little.
He waited with awkward anticipation, his heart pounding. He needed to change the subject—fast.
“Let’s eat. We’re late for dinner.”
He tried to steer the conversation back to something mundane, hugging Zion and patting his back.
This should be enough, he thought.
But…
“I don’t think I’m misunderstanding,” Zion said.
The man he had known so well seemed different today. His gaze, the very air he radiated…
He showed no sign of backing down.
Intimidated by the heavy weight of Zion’s voice, Jubin pressed his fingertips against Zion’s chest, trying to push him away.
“…Zion.”
Can’t we just stop here? Jubin pleaded with his eyes, offering a faint smile and a slight shake of his head.
“Later.”
“…”
“Let’s talk about this later.”
He didn’t have the emotional strength to endure this tension. He was just terrified.
“Listen to me, even if you don’t want to.”
No, don’t.
“Zion.”
Please. He called his name again, desperately trying to break the deadlock.
Even in this moment, Zion’s resolute, reddish-green eyes were achingly beautiful.
“I love you, Sunbae.”
He had finally crossed the line.
For Jubin, the two syllables of that word—love—were destructive. He tried to act nonchalant, attempting to lighten the heavy atmosphere by pretending it was no big deal.
“We’re… fine as we are, aren’t we?”
But he couldn’t bring himself to meet Zion’s gaze. The intensity of those eyes, fixed so steadily on him, was too much to bear.
“Nothing will change if we date. You can just keep liking me exactly as you do now.”
Unlike Jubin, who found safety in the ambiguous space between liking and loving, Zion wanted a definite relationship—a freedom unbound by fear.
Jubin took a deep breath and tried to talk to him calmly.
“If nothing’s going to change, isn’t it better to just leave things as they are? The feelings you’re having… they could be a delusion caused by my pheromones. Or maybe it’s just a parasocial crush from working on a shoot together.”
To Jubin, love felt like a privilege.
Something those who lacked nothing could naturally enjoy, while those like him—broken and deficient—were forbidden from even trying. It was a taboo.
If you can’t accept my feelings completely, you must reject me.
“I want you to save your heart for someone more precious than me, someone you’ll meet after I’m gone.”
Zion clenched his fists, glaring down at him with fierce intensity.
“Why do you keep insisting I step aside for some ‘next person’ who doesn’t even exist?” he spat, his voice trembling with raw emotion.
“I’ve seen you as a man for six whole years! Who the hell are you telling me to save my heart for?!”
The unwavering resolve and boldness he’d shown all this time hadn’t been mere curiosity. It was a choice—a final stand with no room left to retreat.
“Do you remember me telling you about a pheromone I could never forget? One I missed so achingly much?”
I remember. I’d wondered who it could be. I’d even dared to hope, just a little.
But right now, fear outweighed any flicker of hope.
“That pheromone… it’s yours, Senior.”
When he hammered the words I’d been longing to hear straight into my ears like this, my heart—the one I’d been trying so hard to deny—was forced into reality.
Relief and anxiety tangled together.
“You’re my first love, my unrequited love. If I’d been ready to give up, I would never have started a relationship with you that was just about our bodies.”
He can even make a calculated move sound this smooth.
How could I ever win against someone who had already accounted for the awkwardness that would follow? I hated him for it—hated how he willingly bore the burden of knowing exactly what he was doing.
“Just tell me you hate me,” I pleaded. “If you do, I’ll step back.”
How could I ever say I hate you? Now that I knew the truth about our Imprinting, those words were impossible to utter, even if my mouth were ripped open.
What happens if we start dating?
I can’t bear to think about what comes after.
“Can’t we just keep things the way they are?”
It was less a request and more a desperate plea.
“I can’t do that. Did you forget what you said, Yeon?”
If either of us ever questions the nature of this relationship, or thinks we need to redefine it, this arrangement is over.
He had said those words himself.
“That meant you could like someone else. It never meant you could date me.”
“Stop saying things you don’t mean.”
Ha, right. This is all just bullshit. What else could it be? Here I am, practically begging the person I just confessed to to keep being my partner.
The terms of our arrangement were over.
“Let’s be lovers. Just the two of us.”
God, he’s driving me crazy. This was an ultimatum.
I took a deep breath, not wanting to push his already frayed nerves any further.
“Give me some time to think.”
“…Alright,” he replied curtly, stepping back. “I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
With that, Zion closed the door and left. The faint, lingering scent of his pheromones still swirled around my feet, a heavy, suffocating presence.
He knows I could never say I hate him.
He used the project as an excuse, knowing I couldn’t even ghost him this time…
“You’re so damn sly, Do Zion…”
He just had to drop a confession like that right on me.
The scorching summer had passed, and the breeze had turned cool.
The seasons always changed so indifferently, oblivious to Jubin’s agonizing turmoil.
“Jubin, CEO Moon and Zion were right to worry about you.”
Director Bae Eun-hye approached Jubin as he was getting his makeup done, her voice laced with genuine concern.
His reflection in the mirror was truly a mess.
“I’ll stop the diet once filming wraps,” Jubin said, trying to soothe her worries with a casual reassurance.
“You’re not actually sick, are you?”
“No, of course not. How could I be?”
Ever since Zion confessed and we started living under the same roof…
He didn’t have the courage to date him. But now that Zion had said he loved him, Jubin couldn’t go back to the way things were. And ending their relationship now? That was out of the question.
He had become desperate to avoid him.
But Zion was different.
Zion kept dragging Jubin out of his room for meals, suggesting they watch movies, practice their lines, or grab coffee. He was tirelessly trying to spend time with Jubin without any awkwardness.
But that didn’t mean the confession had never happened…
Just this morning, Jubin had wished him a happy birthday, only to be met with a demand: As my birthday present, won’t you accept my confession?
And so, on Zion’s birthday, they remained in this limbo—neither partners nor lovers.
The first day of filming began.
“Makeup is finished.”
“Thank you.”
Jubin headed to the set. The familiar scent of wood and paint, a smell he hadn’t encountered in a long time, made his heart race.
As he stepped onto the set, he saw the staff rushing about, the atmosphere thick with the frantic energy of a production pressed for time.
“Hello.”
“Ah, Jubin. Good to have you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Jubin replied, bowing politely to the directors and the bustling staff preparing for the shoot.
Did I greet everyone?
As he scanned the set, his eyes landed on a camera operator wearing a balaclava that covered his head, neck, and most of his face.
Assuming it was a new hire he hadn’t met yet, Jubin approached him with a friendly smile.
“Hello. I’m Cha Jubin, the actor playing Hyeonseo in this production.”
The operator, perhaps too busy setting up his camera, gave Jubin a cursory glance before nodding curtly and returning his gaze to the equipment.
“Looking forward to working with you,” Jubin added.
It’s the first day of filming, he thought. Some directors might find it off-putting when actors try to get too friendly in an unfamiliar environment.
Satisfied that he’d done his part, Jubin turned away. Finally, he took his place under the lights at the center of the set.
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