Chapter 75: Don’t Fall in Love.
by GideonHe must be worried. I should call him first… But Jubin’s thoughts kept spiraling, unable to settle.
“Don’t forget to come to the office at 2:00. We have an important scenario to review.”
What if he’s only tolerating me because of work? What if he actually wants to end things but is just putting up with me because he has to?
That was the absolute worst-case scenario.
“Get some good rest today, and make sure you eat. Got it?”
Lost in his own head, Jubin responded a beat too late.
“Ah, yes. Thank you, CEO.”
Crap. His voice was too low, too raspy. CEO Moon Woo-jin wasn’t the kind of man to miss such a subtle change.
“Are you feeling okay? You sound…”
Jubin quickly plastered a smile on his face and shook his head.
“No, it’s nothing. I’ve just had too much water, and my throat is a little scratchy. I’ll head inside now.”
Jubin hurried out of the car before CEO Moon Woo-jin’s concern could grow any deeper.
“Thank you. Drive safely.”
He forced a bright smile as he turned away, trying to ease the CEO’s worry.
Once inside the elevator, Jubin leaned against the wall and stood there blankly. Suddenly, Do Zion’s scent wafted past him again.
The source was definitely his own body.
Can you imprint through CPR?
The mere thought was troubling. No, beyond troubling—it was a little terrifying.
They say that the feeling of absolute love, which humans strive for most, is the effect of imprinting.
Jubin had never been one to believe in love. After all, people were fickle. To him, love was the culmination of devotion, responsibility, and sacrifice.
When a love like that leaves, it’s not just a person who’s gone. It’s the experience of your entire world, everything you’ve built, crumbling to the ground. That’s why I’ve always preferred to believe that the imprinting effect was just a trick played by pheromones.
But right now, I was desperate for that scent in my mind.
I missed the fragrance of sweet osmanthus—no, I missed Do Zion himself, the owner of that scent.
Why do I act so clumsy, impulsive, and completely lose control around him?
“I’m the worst, Cha Jubin…”
I came home, showered, and collapsed onto my bed.
My mind was a mess, and the craving for a cigarette hit me instantly. But I couldn’t let my few days of sobriety go to waste.
“Yes, I quit smoking easily.”
I found Zion’s ability to quit so effortlessly incredible. His motivation must have been that strong, but is this even something you can do with willpower alone? I felt a genuine sense of crisis.
“I’ll help you. Quit smoking.”
Finally, he reached for the phone he’d left on the bedside table.
He stared at the screen, gnawing on his lip in agitation. Should I call? Or not? He kept weighing the decision.
If I keep holding back like this…
“Ha, I’m not just going to the convenience store…”
He was seriously afraid that if he snapped out of it, he’d already have a pheromone cigarette between his lips. Jubin was starting to compromise with himself.
“Right, I can’t marry Yeo Si-ha. I’d have to call that bastard ‘brother’ for the rest of my life. Plus, I need to quit smoking to get healthy, keep my voice in top shape, and I paid a fortune for that chip upgrade… Ah, fuck!”
No matter how much he thought about it, the one reason to smoke far outweighed the hundred reasons not to.
The withdrawal was even worse because Zion’s pheromones were still built up inside my body. This was why pheromone addiction was so terrifying, and why marking was something to be cautious about.
“Just call me whenever you crave a cigarette.”
It was better than failing to quit.
“Sunbae, please let me know when you’re back. I’m worried.”
He’d keep worrying if I didn’t, so I absolutely had to contact him.
Just then, the phone on my desk buzzed. I forced my upper body up and checked the screen.
[ Sunbae, did you go to the hospital? ]
It was a message from Do Zion.
My heart felt heavy with guilt for not contacting him first, but I was also relieved.
Another message followed immediately.
[ Are you feeling any better? How are you? ]
One worry after another.
In my haste, I skipped replying to the messages and pressed the call button instead.
One second, two, three… A wave of anxiety crashed over me in that brief silence. Just as I was about to hang up—
“Yes, sunbae.”
His voice, slightly husky, sounded genuinely glad to hear from me.
“Oh, sorry. Were you sleeping?”
“No, I wasn’t. I was just lying down.”
“Did I wake you?”
“It’s okay. How are you feeling?”
Jubin wanted to convince him—and himself—that he was fine.
“I’m okay. I’m craving a cigarette so badly, so I must be getting better.”
“Want me to buy you some?”
“No, I’m going to resist. I need to quit smoking.”
He probably doesn’t know I got a chip implanted, Jubin thought. But isn’t it a bit much for the guy who’s supposed to be helping me quit to be the one offering them?
“Weren’t you the one who promised to help me quit? That’s part of why I called.”
Zion’s laughter crackled through the phone.
Even I know how ridiculous that excuse sounded, Jubin thought.
But it was the truth, so there was no need to hide it, he rationalized.
“Good job,” Zion said. “I just wanted to do whatever you wanted, Senior.”
“If you hadn’t answered, I might have been in trouble.”
“Did you have any cigarettes left?”
Jubin laughed awkwardly. “No, it’s not that. I almost went out to buy some without even thinking.”
Your voice is the only thing keeping me here right now, he wanted to say, but instead, he kept his words carefully chosen.
“Guess we’ll have to talk all night then,” Zion replied.
His gentle voice, enough to soothe Jubin’s cravings, brought a smile to his lips. He felt a wave of relief.
It’s a good thing you’re not here.
“People usually chew sugar-free gum or use nicotine patches when they’re quitting smoking. You should keep some snacks handy so you don’t get bored.”
“I should.”
Jubin shot up from the bed, grabbed a chocolate bar from the fridge, and took a crunch. The dense, fudgy texture melted in his mouth.
“How’s your body feeling? Did the doctor say anything?”
“Yeah, they said everything’s fine. They said you did a great job with the first aid.”
“That’s a relief. I’m glad there are no other issues.”
“It’s all thanks to you. Thank you.”
I hope this one sentence eases your guilt, even just a little…
Jubin quickly changed the subject before the mood could turn heavy.
“Do you have a schedule tomorrow?”
“What about you, sunbae?”
“I’m a bit busy in the morning. I have to meet CEO Moon in the afternoon. What about you?”
—I have a commercial shoot.
Sharing their schedules felt so natural. We’re acting like a couple, Jubin thought.
“What kind of shoot?”
—A winter puffer jacket ad.
In this heat? Jubin couldn’t help but sigh. “That’s going to be brutal.”
—And it’s a long puffer, to make matters worse.
Even a fifteen-second commercial could easily take over ten hours to film. They’d shoot the same scene dozens of times from different angles, with endless meetings, rehearsals, and styling changes in between.
—I’m flying to the U.S. right after the shoot.
“The U.S.? Why?”
—For a pictorial. What am I supposed to do if I crave a cigarette and miss you like this?
Jubin’s lips quirked upward at the subtle flirtation.
“I’ll have to resist,” he said.
Why resist?
Jubin recalled a paid message the other man had sent him once. People in love shouldn’t have to resist the urge to see each other.
Unfortunately, they were only people who liked each other.
Just tell me you miss me, the message had read. I’ll book a flight to Korea right away.
Jubin let out a short, sharp laugh. “That’s the most ridiculous—”
I’d even bet my life on you, senior. Want to find out if I’m lying?
“That’s not necessary between people who just like each other.”
What if I love you? Would that make it possible?
His flirting was bottomless today. The more his declarations grew, the smaller Jubin felt.
If only the heart could just flow toward what’s easy and comfortable.
But the stronger his feelings grew, the more anxious and sensitive Jubin became. It forced him to deliberately maintain a distance.
“Don’t fall in love with me. It’s scary.”
After a moment of silence, Zion carefully spoke.
“—…I’m just trying to love you. What’s so scary about that?”
“Liking someone lasts much longer than loving them. It’s not so… overwhelming.”
Jubin drew a clear line, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.
“—Sunbae.”
Zion’s voice, now strangely low, seemed to halt for a moment. Jubin’s instincts picked up on the odd tension before his mind could process it.
“…Yes?” Jubin paused before answering.
“—Are you dating me while already thinking about the end?”
My chest tightened, as if his words had physically seized my heart.
What do I say? I knew he’d find out eventually. Should I just play it cool?
I wanted to deny it, but I had no idea how to convince him otherwise.
“When exactly is this ‘end’ you’ve decided on all by yourself?”
His voice, sharp and cutting, pierced through me so quickly I kept missing the chance to respond. My thoughts were a chaotic mess. What am I supposed to say…
“Ah, is it after this project?”
He answered his own question, as if he’d just figured it out. This was the boundary I’d desperately tried to hide, even from myself. Maybe it’s a good thing we’re on the phone.
At least I could hide this disastrously messy expression from him.
“Why do you have to go this far? Why do you always decide everything alone?”
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