Chapter 37: Do I Have to Take Responsibility?
by GideonZion’s mind raced with dopamine as he carried Jubin to the bedroom.
Though he’d slept with countless partners, Jubin had never been properly held by anyone as an Omega. The thought made Zion’s heart pound. He still has his ‘first’ left for me to take.
It was true that Jubin looked more like a Beta or an Alpha to any casual observer. He was tall with a well-built frame, lacking the fragile air that typically stirred a protective instinct in Omegas. His calm, gentle expression and the relaxed grace in his speech and movements gave him a steady presence that seemed capable of embracing anyone.
Zion adored that unique, iconic mood he carried.
“You said you’ve dated an Alpha before,” Zion asked, setting him down on the edge of the bed.
“Ah, that guy…”
Jubin’s gaze was utterly indifferent as he recalled the other man.
“He was terrible. It hurt, and I wasn’t satisfied.”
Zion’s expression hardened instantly.
That fucking Alpha bastard in heat, Zion thought, his mind seething. If you’re going to do it, at least prepare him properly. If you’re going to be that inconsiderate, don’t even bother. What the fuck, how could you hurt him?
“Go rest. You must be exhausted.”
Zion tried to tuck him in, pulling the covers over him, but Jubin tensed his body, resisting.
“What’s wrong? Do you feel nauseous?”
Fortunately, the bathroom was close to the bedroom.
“Do you want me to pat your back?”
Jubin shook his head.
He caught his breath for a moment, then softly called Zion’s name, as if to reassure him.
“Do Zion.”
Suddenly, Jubin’s face contorted in pain.
“…It’s hard.”
Hard? Only then did Zion realize the room was thick with his own pheromones.
The usual scent of cigarettes that always clung to him was gone. Zion fumbled with the pockets of Jubin’s pants, his voice laced with worry.
“Where are your cigarettes?”
Jubin’s brow remained furrowed as he shook his head again.
“…I don’t have any.”
Zion’s face went pale. He always carried a pack of pheromone-suppressing cigarettes for Jubin, but in his haste to leave today, he’d forgotten them.
Jubin needed pheromone stabilization. He had to smoke immediately, even if it meant paying a fine.
“Wait here. I’ll go buy some right now.”
As Zion pushed himself up to rush out of the bedroom, Jubin’s hand shot out, gripping his wrist.
“I…”
His full lips twitched as he struggled to speak.
“I’m quitting.”
“Suddenly? Quitting?”
Zion hadn’t misheard.
“Why?” he asked, his voice laced with confusion.
“It’s just… I keep worrying about you smoking, so…”
Zion was confused. The idea that Jubin had quit smoking solely because he was worried about him felt impossible. After all, Zion knew better than anyone how much those cigarettes meant to Jubin.
“Are you really quitting for me?”
“You’re one of the reasons, yes.”
Every Omega was vulnerable to a Dominant Alpha’s pheromones, but Jubin was exceptionally susceptible. He detested being swayed by Zion’s scent, and if it weren’t for the pheromone-infused cigarettes, he would have fled the moment their meetings became uncomfortable.
Yet, he was willing to endure the agony of quitting just to keep seeing him? His words were too clear, his diction too precise to be the rambling of a drunk man.
“Zion.”
Jubin gripped Zion’s hand, as if refusing to let him go. The hold was desperate, yet so weak it was almost awkward.
“Help me… please.”
He was begging. His eyes were wet.
“…You told me to look for you when I’m in a rush.”
He had said those exact words. But ever since he’d unleashed his pheromones recklessly at the bar and earned Jubin’s severe displeasure, Zion had given up on trying to manipulate him with his own. He didn’t have the courage to be hated by the man.
Zion took a deep breath and swallowed hard.
“Senior, you’re really drunk.”
“Was that just empty words?” Jubin added, his eyes still filled with disappointment.
Do you have any idea how desperately I’ve been holding back? Do you even imagine the way I look at you?
“Do you want me to hold you?”
Jubin slowly closed and opened his eyes, his gaze meeting Zion’s steadily.
“Yes.”
There was no hesitation in his answer. The pheromonal urge and the alcohol had completely softened that usually unyielding man.
If only he’d been sober, Zion thought.
“Will you hold me?”
Jubin’s desperate gaze locked onto Zion, and his trembling fingertips finally brought their lips together, barely touching.
Smack.
The pheromones, carrying the dizzying scent of the dawn air, spread faintly from their touching lips. They were soft and moist.
When their lips parted for a moment, Zion couldn’t resist the longing. He cupped Jubin’s cheeks and pressed his lips back against them in a desperate rush.
I really can’t do this, Zion thought. There’s no fighting his pleas.
The soft sounds of their kiss turned wetter and more intense. Jubin’s tongue parted Zion’s lips, invading his mouth. The tip of his tongue was warm and electrifying. Blood rushed violently to Zion’s groin.
Zion’s hands instinctively traced Jubin’s bare chest. The firm muscle beneath his fingertips sent a jolt of arousal through him, and the slick, clinging touch of Jubin’s skin felt intoxicating.
A faint but unmistakable scent of pheromones wafted from Jubin, stirring something deep within Zion.
His heart hammered wildly, the thrumming in his ears so loud he couldn’t tell if it was his own or Jubin’s. What did it matter?
The slick, warm muscle that had gently invaded his mouth now swept across the roof of his palate with deliberate care.
“Mmm…”
Jubin let out a low, guttural groan as he slowly pulled back. Without a second’s hesitation, Zion shifted, straddling Jubin’s lap to continue the kiss.
Zion’s long tongue urgently licked up Jubin’s lips. The fullness of them against his tongue tasted sweet.
Their lips met again, molding together. Zion relentlessly sucked on Jubin’s tongue as it slipped past his lips.
So this is what a kiss feels like, Zion thought, his mind reeling from the pleasure. He let his tongue tangle with Jubin’s, their breaths mingling in a frantic, ragged rhythm that blurred the passage of time.
Jubin’s saliva, laced with his pheromones, tasted sweet and intoxicating, drawing Zion in deeper. The scent and taste spread through his mouth, a thick, heady mixture.
The wet, rhythmic sounds of their lips meeting echoed through the bedroom. With every press, Zion’s consciousness fragmented, his mind leaping wildly.
The unfamiliar room, the pleasant buzz of alcohol, the long-desired pheromones, their bodies pressed flush against each other, the deep exchange of saliva—all of it combined with a sharp, focused arousal that pushed him to the brink.
The rush of dopamine was so intense it felt surreal.
The excitement and thrill instantly translated into a physical reaction. Jubin and Zion naturally tilted their heads, their tongues intertwining as they lost themselves in a long, breathless kiss.
Fuck, I’m so hard…
Just from a kiss.
Knowing he’d lose all control if he kept going, Zion hastily pulled his lips away.
Jubin’s already full lips were now slightly swollen and plump. Zion fought the urge to devour them once more.
“I have no intention of ruining my relationship with you.”
Jubin had said that once.
“Even if I were desperate, would I really come to you? I’d rather just get another chip implanted.”
Zion didn’t want to fuck him just because of the pheromones and the alcohol. Stopping now was the right choice.
“Are we done?”
Zion glanced back, deciding he should go to the bathroom and clean himself up.
“Go to sleep.”
He pushed himself up, trying to act as if he had no lingering desire for Jubin.
Even if it was because of the pheromones. Even if it was an irresistible force. He didn’t want to let all his patience crumble in a single moment, and he didn’t want to disappoint Jubin.
“Do Zion.”
Jubin yanked his arm hard. At the same time, his other hand pressed firmly against Zion’s crotch.
The bulge in Zion’s pants strained against Jubin’s palm, flaunting its hardness. He wasn’t embarrassed that Jubin had caught him in heat, but he was terrified that Jubin would be disappointed in him.
“You’re not the only one.”
For a moment, Zion doubted his own ears. Jubin pulled the hand he was holding and pressed it firmly against his own crotch.
“I’m the same way.”
Zion felt it clearly in his hand. The same hard-on, the same raw lust, just like his own.
Is this a mistake? he wondered.
“…”
“…”
A heavy silence settled between them, as if they were both thinking the exact same thing.
“…Zion.”
His voice, now husky and low, sent a shiver down Zion’s spine.
“I’m… wet.”
Jubin reached down and blatantly unbuckled Zion’s pants.
Alcohol, pheromones, a hotel room. Two healthy men—an Alpha and an Omega, no less—with all these factors in play… what are the odds they’d just go to sleep?
“…Can I?”
Zero.
Jubin’s eyes, burning with a thirst-like desire, were fixed on Zion’s crotch.
“Do you want to suck it?”
Jubin nodded, his gaze hazy and unfocused.
“Do you like giving oral?”
“Yeah, I like giving.”
He likes giving, not receiving? That’s a bit of a shock. Zion knew Jubin enjoyed this kind of thing, but he still couldn’t get used to it. He couldn’t even get used to his own desire to be sucked by the other man.
“I’m not going to stop you,” Zion asked, his expression darkening. “But will you remember this tomorrow?”
“…Do I have to take responsibility?”
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