Chapter 88: Taste Paralysis
by GideonThe way Zion looked at him was strikingly similar to the possessiveness Wang Se-gyeom showed Hyeonseo.
“Do you ever get too immersed in your roles?” Zion asked.
It wasn’t uncommon for actors to blur the line between reality and their characters when they got too deep into a role. Especially with romantic subplots, they often fell into “pseudo-dating” feelings.
Most actors naturally shook it off after filming wrapped. But Jubin tended to lose himself in the work, often confusing the fictional world with reality. Because of this, he always tried to maintain a clear boundary.
“I do when I’m working on a project,” Zion replied, smoothing down Jubin’s bangs.
Perhaps Zion, unlike me, didn’t need to maintain such a clear boundary. Or maybe he just didn’t. Or…
“What about you, senior?”
Jubin concluded that Zion was more of the type to enjoy this.
At some point, Zion had started looking at him with eyes that seemed to say no one else in the world could compare to him, and that he loved him more than anyone else.
If his feelings were merely the possessiveness of a king like Se-gyeom for his concubine, Jubin could easily understand why Zion liked him.
Because otherwise, there was no way Zion would gaze at him with such adoration.
Shouldn’t I check if this is actually real?
He was terrified of getting used to Zion, who had so casually seeped into his daily life, becoming as essential as the air he breathed.
“My problem is that I overthink my characters too much,” Zion said, picking up the nearby hairdryer and starting to dry Jubin’s hair again.
The warm air quickly dried the moisture from Jubin’s hair.
A heavy drowsiness washed over him. He closed his eyes and drifted off for a moment, only to be jolted awake when the hair dryer clicked off.
“Sunbae.”
At the gentle sound of his voice, Jubin rubbed his eyes and lifted his head.
“It’s late. Can I stay the night?”
“Huh?”
The question instantly chased away his sleep.
Did I sound too surprised? Jubin wondered, as the other man smiled, his gaze asking why he was so startled.
“Is that a no?”
He had never asked to stay over before, always using the late hour as an excuse to leave.
“Don’t you have a schedule tomorrow?”
“Not until late in the afternoon, so it’s fine.” He searched Jubin’s face. “If this is too much, I can just stay for dinner.”
The truth was, Jubin didn’t know how to process this growing feeling the longer he stayed in his own space.
“I’m just tired today.”
Maintaining a proper distance is the only way, Jubin thought.
“Okay. Once my clothes dry, should we go out for dinner?”
No hint of disappointment. No playing games. How can he be so cool about this?
He’d openly admitted his feelings, yet he took Jubin’s rejection in stride. He was nothing like Jubin, who was hyper-sensitive to others’ reactions. Instead, he accepted Jubin’s emotions and actions exactly as they were.
Is this what they call a ‘securely attached’ person?
“Sure, let’s eat whatever you want.”
“Sunbae, you’re banned from saying that from now on.”
He unplugged the hair dryer, his eyes flashing with annoyance. His tone was unusually sharp.
What did I do wrong? Jubin wondered, smoothing down the nearly dry hair at the back of his head as he asked cautiously, “What’s wrong?”
“Tell me what you want to eat right now.”
The words wouldn’t come.
His past partners had always held high expectations of him. He’d believed that the only way to be loved was to always adapt to the other person’s wishes. He’d thought it was the only way to keep them from being disappointed—a measure of how much he loved them.
“What… Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?”
That was why he’d always left even the smallest decisions to them. After all, most of the people he’d dated were the type to decide everything based on their own preferences.
It had always been easier to just go along with others, to adapt and defer. Without even realizing it, I’d started believing my own preferences and tastes didn’t matter. After all, the people I’d met before always seemed happier when I hid myself away.
“Sometimes,” Zion said, “I wish you’d tell me what you want to eat first.”
He was encouraging me to voice my own opinion, even though making decisions always left me exhausted. I dreaded the possibility that he might not like whatever I chose.
“I’m really fine with anything,” I replied.
“But to me, knowing what you want, what you like, and what your tastes are… that’s what’s important.”
Why did those simple words make my chest ache so? My heart gave a violent thud. It was only a fleeting moment, but the aftereffects lingered, overwhelming and profound.
“Zion.”
He met my gaze as if it were the most natural thing in the world. His eyes told me he’d buy me anything I wanted, just say the word.
“I’ve found something I want to eat.”
“Tell me.”
Isn’t it strange? How do you always manage to sink so deep into my heart?
Until now, I’ve always erased myself to be considerate of others. I thought even the smallest request was a selfish act.
Today, you taught me that I don’t need to erase myself for you.
To think I’ve been agonized over this for so long…
“Want to stay the night?”
As if he’d just received the most unexpected compliment, Zion beamed, his eyes crinkling into a smile.
“Do you want to eat me?”
“Yeah, I haven’t eaten my fill yet.”
Even though my wordplay was ridiculous, Zion just found it cute and pressed his warm lips against mine.
His tongue parted my lips, tangling with mine in a slow, deliberate dance.
If he keeps this up, I won’t be able to control my body’s reaction. Not wanting to think too deeply, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
I coaxed his tongue, which was tickling the roof of my mouth, even deeper inside.
When I slowly opened my eyes, the sight of his focused expression, eyes closed in concentration, sent a surge of arousal through me.
I savored his lips slowly, as if tasting a sweet cake.
I pulled away for a moment, feeling a faint trace of pheromones on the tip of his tongue.
“…Let’s order in for dinner.”
“Tell me what you want right now.”
“I really don’t mind, anything’s fine.”
“Don’t you have a favorite place you order from?”
He was determined to hear a specific menu item today.
He buried his lips deep into the crook of Jubin’s neck, urging him, “Hurry up.”
Why is he being so pushy today? Ah, I’m too tired to answer.
“You. I want you.”
It was a half-hearted answer, but Zion burst into laughter, as if completely satisfied.
It was a rare sight to see Do Zion laugh so heartily…
He laughed for a long time. As Jubin joined in, he felt the void in his heart being filled.
Zion’s hand slipped beneath Jubin’s shirt, groping his chest. The clock had already ticked past seven.
If we start now, one round will take at least an hour. If he begs for a second or third, dinner will be even later.
“We’re actually going to eat dinner tonight, right?”
“You said you were going to eat.”
Zion nudged himself between Jubin’s legs.
“You’re one thing, and dinner is another…”
Suddenly, Jubin pictured sushi—savory, aged fish atop vinegared rice, perfectly sweet and tangy.
“Zion.”
He lifted his head from where he’d been buried and met Jubin’s gaze.
“Let’s have sushi.”
“Sure.”
He answered readily, then propped himself up on his elbows.
“How about dessert?”
I never imagined I’d see the day I’d be trading dirty jokes with him so casually. I’d never even dreamed I’d find this so amusing, laughing out loud with him without a second thought.
We’ll probably be saying even bolder things to each other without hesitation later.
“My clothes should be dry by now, right?”
“Uh, maybe? Hold on.”
I hurried to the laundry room, stopped the dryer, and checked his clothes.
“They’re dry!”
“Are you that happy?” he teased, taking the clothes from me. “I don’t have a single thing that would fit you, so I can’t lend you anything.”
“It’s hot, so wouldn’t you be fine just walking around shirtless?”
“This isn’t a photoshoot or a runway, you know.”
“I want to show it off. This mark you left on me.”
He pointedly traced the red mark on his collarbone.
“Why are you acting like that joke is serious…?”
“Does it seem like a joke to you?”
His gaze held no trace of humor.
“Here, take the hat.”
Jubin deliberately changed the subject, grabbing a nearby hat and holding it out. He couldn’t lend him clothes, but he could lend him a hat.
“Thanks. Do you like Japanese rolled omelets?” he asked, adjusting the hat in front of the mirror.
“Yeah, I do. They’re kind of sweet.”
“How about udon?”
“I like that too. It’s light and savory.”
“Wasabi?”
“Just a little? Too much makes my nose sting.”
Wearing a hat, he squeezed Jubin’s hand and pressed a light kiss to his forehead.
“Let’s go.”
Walking like this, led by the hand… we look just like a couple.
Shaking off the awkwardness, Jubin slipped his hand away and offered him a mask.
“Put this on too.”
“Is the shop far?” he asked, pulling the mask over his face.
“No, it’s only about a ten-minute walk.”
Jubin opened the front door, checked the hallway for anyone else, and pressed the elevator button.
He had always found it exhausting and a nuisance when strangers became too entangled in his personal life, but Zion was different. Having him in his precious, private space didn’t bother him at all. In fact, the shared sense of doing something together was quite satisfying.
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