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Chapter 107: Can You Handle Me?
by GideonJubin’s heat lasted exactly three days.
When he finally came to, his lower body was swollen and tender, aching even when he didn’t move. His condition was at its absolute limit.
“It’s over…”
He had experienced firsthand why Omegas in heat acted like beasts in human skin, driven by a primal urge to mate.
I’m only alive because of the high-nutrient IV, he thought. His wrist stung so badly he checked it, only to find a temporary chip had been inserted.
“…Did Zion call them?”
House calls for Omegas in heat were common, as they could easily suffer from dehydration or malnutrition.
He didn’t even have the strength to lift a finger.
“What am I going to do…”
He’d been filled inside countless times. The final climax had been so intense that fluid had gushed out like a fountain, completely ruining the sofa.
I couldn’t even wash for days. We’d been fucking like animals, non-stop, only pausing to sleep. If I ended up pregnant, I wouldn’t even have the right to complain.
And the worst part was, Jubin was the one who’d begged him to come inside. Zion had refused so many times, but in the end…
“Am I fucking insane?”
How confused must he have been? Zion had sworn he’d never let it happen before his heat hit, and he’d absolutely refused to cum inside.
But the moment his heat broke, Jubin had been a complete mess, begging him to fill him up.
What was he supposed to do when Zion’s pheromones flooded his body, making him lose his mind? His body was a total wreck, yet the euphoria still coursing through his veins showed no sign of fading.
Sigh… The afterglow is really something.
I was terrified of another heat hitting me, which made me desperate to get the permanent chip implanted.
Beep-beep-beep-beep—
The door lock clicked open. I struggled to push myself up, desperate to see Zion’s face properly for the first time in forever.
“Ugh!”
A sharp pain shot up my spine, and I collapsed back onto the bed. Zion rushed over, startled by my groan.
“Sunbae, you’re awake?”
He checked the IV drip—still half full—and the nutrient supplement before adding, “How are you feeling? Does it hurt a lot?”
Judging by the sheer worry on his face, he must have been a complete wreck leaving me here alone.
“I’m fine. Where did you go?”
He held up his wrist, now lightly bandaged.
“I went to get the unnecessary chip removed.”
“Good job…”
He meticulously checked the IV drip and the temporary chip implant again.
During the brief silence, Zion hesitated, weighing whether to speak, before swallowing hard and finally asking, “Zion, are you okay?”
He shed the light jacket he was wearing and smiled faintly. “Are you worrying about your Alpha right now?”
“I… I forced you. I must have put you in a difficult position…”
“I loved every single second of those three days. Why can’t you be in heat 365 days a year?”
A faint smile touched Jubin’s lips at the lighthearted joke. Zion, seeming to guess what Jubin was worried about, gently stroked his hair and tentatively asked, “…Do you regret it?”
Jubin slowly shook his head.
“No, I don’t regret it. Not with you. I’d never regret it if it was you.”
“Even if I went back a hundred, a thousand times to three days ago, I’d still choose to do the same thing. Seriously, Hyung, you were so fucking pretty.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s so pretty about me looking like a complete mess?”
“You were pretty. Really. I couldn’t help myself—that’s why I came inside.”
He considered Jubin’s feelings with such tenderness. The gesture was so sweet it made Jubin’s heart ache with gratitude.
“It’s not fair,” Jubin grumbled, deliberately playing along with the lighthearted mood. He pouted, trying to look annoyed. “When you’re in rut, you have to stay with me. No excuses.”
“You think you can handle me?”
“Who else is going to handle you if not me?”
Zion’s lips quirked up into a smirk.
“Just so you know, my rut lasts ten days.”
Ten days? Not one or two? If Jubin had to endure Zion’s boundless stamina and inexhaustible virility for ten whole days, he might actually die.
Jubin offered a strained smile and averted his gaze.
“Why are you looking away? Is ten days really that long?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
The only reason Jubin had been able to engage in such ferocious, messy sex without hesitation was that he’d been half-lost to his own heat, his mind completely gone. He wasn’t sure if he could survive Zion’s rut while fully conscious.
“Hyung.”
At the sound of Zion calling him Hyung so tenderly, Jubin turned back without a fight. Their soft lips met perfectly.
“Mmm…”
As he accepted the kiss, his body completely relaxed. Am I allowed to be this happy? A sudden wave of anxiety crashed through the blissful reality.
Accustomed to a constant state of tension, Jubin found even the simplest moments of happiness unfamiliar—a dangerous signal he couldn’t ignore.
As their lips slowly parted, he struggled to contain the surge of emotion.
“Zion.”
I need you to tell me. To confirm.
“Am I allowed to be this happy?”
Do I even deserve this kind of happiness?
My life can’t just be absorbed into his glamorous one. The endless comparisons only deepened his sense of isolation.
“Do you know what you are to me?”
“…What am I?”
Zion answered without hesitation.
“A comma.”
A clear note resonated in Jubin’s mind, similar to the feeling he had once experienced with Zion.
“Even when you’re under the spotlight, cheered on by tens of millions of people, there are times when you feel truly alone.”
Loneliness in a crowd—that was the unique burden of this profession.
Jubin had once felt that same loneliness crush him.
I have to do well. I have to be perfect. He had been so busy whipping himself into shape that he’d completely neglected his own heart.
“Yeah, I know. I know that feeling…”
“Whenever I felt thrown into that loneliness all alone, I held on by thinking of you, hyung.”
The life of an actor, always having to show something, always having to perform, was exhausting and relentless. Yet to you, I was…
A small comfort in your daily life.
“Come here.”
As Jubin reached out, the other man naturally pulled him into an embrace. For a long moment, they shared only the sound of each other’s breathing and the steady thrum of their hearts, exchanging warmth.
Without expectation, they just held each other.
Hoping her warmth would be a little hotter than his loneliness, a little more comforting than his daily routine, she slowly stroked his broad back.
“You did so well. And thank you. For continuing to act when you were lonely, for loving me like this, and for not giving up on me.”
Smack. His moist lips pressed against the nape of her neck.
“From now on, we’ll be stuck together until we’re sick of it. No matter how many heats or ruts we go through, we’ll be together the whole time.”
The hand stroking her hair was so tender it brought tears to her eyes.
“I’ll give you everything I have, boundlessly and without expectation. So just trust me.”
With Zion, she felt she could go somewhere unknown, a place with no foreseeable end.
Of course, the end—an inevitable, eternal parting—was already set in stone. But still, I wanted to go there with him.
“Yeah. I’ll trust you.”
I, who had always kept others at arm’s length, had shown him everything—even my most unsightly Heats.
Not even my parents could cure my habit of anxiety and avoidance, but Zion was a rock—an absolutely stable type who would never be easily shaken. He was someone who would accept me as I was, no matter what form I took or where I stood.
“You know what? I thought you didn’t date because you were too perfect.”
“Me?” he asked, surprised.
Jubin nodded, adding, “I mean, dating feels like a privilege, doesn’t it? People who have nothing to lack naturally do it because they have nothing to lack.”
It felt like a luxury, for instance.
“But you look so perfect on the outside, I thought you were intentionally avoiding dating because no one was good enough for you.”
Zion gave a wry smile, as if everything I’d said was completely wrong.
“I’m just a fool who let the years slip away while tied down by a contract.”
“Isn’t your self-assessment a bit too harsh?”
“It’s the truth, though. That’s why I spent six years pining for you in secret and even tried to use my pheromones to get your attention. You wouldn’t accept me when I was sober, so I tried to seduce you while you were drunk, and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”
I was momentarily speechless.
“Is that all? I also begged you to be my partner. Oh, and I finally confessed my feelings, only to get rejected not long ago. Remember?”
If he was going to accept me like this anyway, why had I pushed him away and struggled so much?
Jubin’s face flushed crimson with shame, and he hurriedly apologized.
“I’m sorry…”
Zion pulled him into a gentle embrace, his voice soft yet probing. “What were you so afraid of that you had to push me away?”
Normally, Jubin would have swallowed these words, keeping them locked inside. But after the heat, a loose sense of security had settled over him—a feeling that he could show Zion anything, and it would be okay.
“Ending things badly with you,” Jubin confessed, taking a deep breath as he finally revealed his hidden feelings. “Everyone I’ve ever been with… it always ended badly.”
He needed all the courage he could muster for this moment.
“You’re so precious to me. I was terrified that if we started dating, you’d get sick of me and run away. That you’d eventually leave me, just like everyone else, refusing to let me in. I don’t think I could handle that kind of misery again.”
He was confessing everything now, not even feeling the shame he should have.
“I know I was being a coward. I just built up these walls because I didn’t want to get hurt.”
Surprisingly, Zion was taken aback by a completely different point.
“You kept pushing me away… even though you knew you were imprinted on me?”
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