Chapter 50: Come here now.
by GideonUnlike me, who’d always drink without hesitation, he’d never had a single sip of alcohol. So this… this was genuine embarrassment.
“I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just happened to—anyway, just take it. It’s better if someone who needs it puts it to good use.”
“You don’t need it?”
“I’m not at the point where I’d buy merch.”
My words were completely contradictory.
“Did you buy this for me?”
Instead of answering, Zion grabbed the beer in front of him. Well, I’d be more than grateful to receive the merch if he was giving it to me.
And I was even happier because it was an unexpected gift from him.
“…Thanks.”
He’d taken a bold gulp of the beer, but then his face contorted in a fierce scowl.
The taste must have been terrible.
Jubin couldn’t help but chuckle as Zion, who looked like he belonged with whiskey and wine, recoiled in horror at the taste of the beer.
“So? How’s your first-ever beer?”
“Why on earth would anyone drink this?”
His tone made it clear he found the very idea incomprehensible. So typical of Do Zion, Jubin thought.
“They say you’re an adult when you finally appreciate this taste.”
“Do you appreciate it, sunbae?”
Jubin had spent a long time wondering what people even found appealing about beer, but now, he felt like he might be starting to understand its depth.
He drained the rest of his glass.
“Whether I understand it or not, I think it tastes good.”
This was the first beer Zion had ever bought for him, and today, Jubin had something to congratulate him on.
“Do Zion.”
Zion’s already large eyes widened in surprise at the sound of his name.
“Congratulations on the award. And on turning twenty.”
It was his first celebration—and his final goodbye.
Jubin had waited a full two weeks.
He arrived at the Second Gender Clinic early in the morning. He was at a critical point in his work, needing absolute focus, and having successfully quit smoking, he decided it was time to get an additional chip implanted.
“Mr. Cha Jubin, please come in.”
At the nurse’s call, Jubin rose from his seat and entered the consultation room.
After a brief examination, he was led to the procedure room. Before the implantation, the nurse explained the potential for a pseudo-heat reaction.
“After the chip is added, your body will experience a sudden drop in pheromones. As it adjusts, you may experience symptoms similar to a heat.”
“Ah…”
Jubin let out a soft groan at the unexpected complication. A pseudo-heat? He’d never experienced anything like it, and a wave of apprehension washed over him.
“You might have a fever, nausea, or chills. In severe cases, you could even experience hallucinations. These symptoms vary greatly by individual and typically resolve on their own within one to three days.”
I guess I’ll be fine if I just stay cooped up at home for a few days.
“If your symptoms don’t improve after that, it means your body hasn’t adapted, which is a side effect.”
“Are there many patients who experience side effects?”
“Quite a few. Some people experience them gradually, dismissing it as just feeling under the weather, only to have it worsen to the point of hospitalization. There are also those who let their guard down after a similar heat passes, thinking they’re in the clear, only to suffer side effects later.”
I see why Zion opposed this. The risk of adding the chip was higher than I’d thought.
He wasn’t even my lover, but at the very least, I had to block any chance of him being driven to find me by pheromones.
If I wanted to keep working with him long-term, I had no choice.
“If you feel even slightly different from your usual self, please come in for a check-up. You also need to be careful about marking.”
“Why marking?”
“If marking occurs before your hormones stabilize, it could trigger a heat. Please be especially cautious.”
So many warnings.
Jubin found the whole process a bit tedious.
“If you’ve reviewed everything, please sign the privacy and procedure consent forms here.”
Jubin nodded and signed the documents.
“Please wait in the lounge for a moment.”
He reread the list of potential side effects on the instruction sheet. Just then, his phone vibrated in his hand.
Do Zion-sunbae, are you busy?
The simple question felt strangely affectionate.
Smoking and a chip implant.
All of this was happening because he was unusually sensitive to Zion’s pheromones.
It’ll be fine once the chip is in, right?
He stared at the message for a long time, clinging to a vague sense of hope.
“Patient Cha Jubin?”
“Yes.”
He slipped his phone into his pocket without replying to the text.
“Please come into the procedure room.”
He walked forward, praying that everything would go smoothly.
Heavy rain poured down as night fell. Perhaps it was the damn rain, but the pseudo-heat he’d been dreading finally began.
“Ugh, hngh…”
In the darkened room, Jubin relied on the faint light filtering through the curtains to guide his senses. He rubbed his swollen cock, trying to soothe the unyielding heat.
“Ah…!”
As he finally released his pent-up lust, a thick, sticky fluid burst into his hand.
How many times has it been now? He couldn’t even keep track.
Instead of subsiding, the heat only intensified. He hadn’t even been in it for a full day, yet the thought of enduring this agony for several more days made it impossible to even imagine how much worse a true heat would be.
“Haa, haa…”
He curled his body into a ball, but he still trembled uncontrollably. His skin felt hot to the touch, yet he was so cold it felt as if the air conditioner’s chill had seeped deep into his bones.
“I’m cold.”
No matter how much he curled into a ball, he couldn’t shake the chills, yet the feverish heat radiating from his body refused to subside.
The lust he thought had died down reared its head once more.
“Ngh…”
Jubin rubbed his hand over his swollen crotch again. It wasn’t enough anymore. What he truly craved was Zion’s gentle pheromones.
He wanted to bathe in that sweet scent, to let it wash over his entire body.
“Endure it…”
He had installed the chip specifically to keep himself from seeking Zion out. If he went to him now, it would all be for nothing.
“Hah… just a little more…”
The gentle voice calling his name… the firm arms that had held him tight… the abs that had pressed relentlessly against him… the overwhelming fullness that had stretched him inside.
“Hah…!”
His stamina was reaching its limit, but this was still better than the agony of not being able to release.
Only after he’d completely worn himself out—his cock so spent it couldn’t get hard again—did he collapse onto the bed in exhaustion.
Am I going to die like this?
His vision was blurred. Just as he was trying to catch his ragged breath, the phone on the floor vibrated.
The caller was Do Zion.
The phone kept buzzing.
“…”
Should I just ask him for help, just this once? After the adjustment period is over, this won’t happen again…
He wanted to run to Zion right now, throw his arms around him, and beg him for just a little bit of his pheromones.
But he quickly pushed the thought aside.
If I can’t even handle this, what am I going to do when my real heat hits?
Still, I want to hear his voice… After biting his lip in hesitation, he finally reached down and tapped the screen.
“Yeah, Zion.”
—Why do you sound so weak? Are you sick?
His intuition is always so sharp.
If you worry about me at a critical moment like this, I’ll…
“I just woke up,” Jubin said.
—What did you do today?
“Just…”
Why do I feel like crying at the sound of his gentle voice asking ‘Just?’ Is my mind as weak as my body right now?
“I was thinking about you.”
He fell silent for a moment, then asked, as if he’d made a decision:
—Should I come see you now?
“No.”
If you come now, it’ll be a disaster. Jubin rejected him firmly, swallowing his true feelings. At the same time, an unbearable, sharp pain leaked out.
“Hgh…”
He hastily covered his mouth.
—Sunbae, are you sure you’re not sick?
Jubin swallowed hard, forcing down the pain that surged up with his dry throat. Endure it. I have to endure it. He strained his vocal cords, layering his voice with a desperate act.
“It doesn’t hurt, Zion. Don’t worry.”
My voice was starting to tremble.
What do I do? He’s going to find out. I have to hang up, now…
—I miss you so much.
Those few words were all it took. All the struggle, all the times I’d rubbed my hands together and let my imagination run wild, came pouring out of me in a single moment.
I hung up so abruptly that I couldn’t even reply.
“Hah… hah… hah…”
Holding it in like this will be worth it someday, right? I hope this choice leads you and me to a better place.
I’d do anything for you.
I tried to comfort myself, telling myself that this would all pass and that I just had to endure it alone.
It was their first phone call in two weeks, and it ended abruptly.
“Haaah…”
Zion tossed his phone onto the bed beside him.
I said “I like you” so casually… maybe he was hoping for a “Me too” in return? Was I too much?
Ever since they’d agreed to be partners, Zion found it impossible to control his feelings for his senior. The more he liked him, the more he wanted to express it—to hold him, to call him, to see him all the time.
But in contrast, he…
“Let’s not let this affect our work. Let’s both act like professionals.”
With his vast experience, his emotional maturity was on a completely different level. He never let the situation sway him, expressing only what was necessary, always composed and never rushed.
They were scheduled for a full script reading in a few days, so they were bound to meet. He was someone who took acting more seriously than anyone else, so he wouldn’t irresponsibly run away or hide. But Zion feared that instead of running, he’d just distance himself even further.
“I like you, Zion.”
The memory of him whispering those words while holding Zion in his arms and kissing him made Zion’s cock stir again.
How many times does this make today?
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