EXTRA 1
by GideonIt was February.
A late cold snap had arrived, as if winter were throwing a tantrum, refusing to let go. More snow had fallen in February alone than throughout the rest of winter combined. It felt as though the season were starting all over again.
Hyewan’s heart felt just as bleak.
She knew life rarely went according to plan, but this was just too much. This was the fifth month in a row. Staring at the single line on the pregnancy test, Hyewan sank to the bathroom floor.
How is it this hard to get two lines?
People who had struggled with infertility for years would probably scold her, asking how she could be so upset over a mere five months. But being upset was still being upset.
With the new semester starting next month, her plan to give birth during summer break had vanished like a soap bubble. She’d gotten pregnant with Haetsal so easily and quickly without any planning; she’d assumed a second pregnancy would be just as simple.
I shouldn’t have been so confident.
It was hard enough to watch her own hopes shatter every month, but seeing Yundo was even harder. He remained silently by her side. When she cried, he never asked why; he simply held her and ordered spicy food. Hyewan feared that Yundo would be consumed by the same helplessness she felt—the helplessness of being unable to do anything for him, and the daunting prospect of having to pin her hopes on next month all over again.
Yundo knocked on the bathroom door. She could tell from the cautious sound how much he had hesitated before knocking. After composing herself, Hyewan got up and opened the door.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. But the surprise has to happen next month.”
Yundo looked at her with moist eyes, then gently pulled her into an embrace.
“Alright, let’s do it next month. The month after that is fine too, or even next year. I’ll wait for it with a happy heart.”
“…Yeah.”
Hyewan swallowed the sob that had risen to her throat. Yundo held her tighter, feeling her tremble in his arms. We don’t need a baby, he thought. He truly meant it.
But he couldn’t say those words to Hyewan, who endured the cycle of hope and disappointment every single month. In truth, there was nothing he could do to help. He knew his words would only wound her as she struggled so desperately.
After all, losing Haetsal in the first place had been his fault. All he could do now was follow Hyewan’s lead.
The news of that day reached Min-suk’s ears.
Lately, Min-suk had been calling Yundo instead of Hyewan to get updates on her daughter’s life. She was careful not to say anything that might accidentally hurt Hyewan.
Five months had already passed.
To keep hoping for next month, only to be disappointed again…
Min-suk couldn’t stand to watch Hyewan pour her entire life into the baby. Her daughter’s life was more precious to her than a grandchild who didn’t even exist yet.
“Mom!”
Hyewan’s face lit up as Min-suk, who rarely visited her daughter’s place, stepped through the front door.
“What brings you here? You’ve always acted like coming to our house would be a disaster.”
“They say the farther you live from your in-laws, the better.”
“But they also say if your wife is beautiful, you’d bow to the very fence post of her family’s home. Yundo says he wants to live with you and Aunt Gyeong-ae.”
“Why? So I can make him prepare nabak-kimchi every time I visit?”
“Yes.”
Hyewan burst into laughter at her mother’s joke. Seeing her daughter’s innocent smile, Min-suk felt some of her anxiety ease. She hasn’t been depressed from disappointment all this time, she thought.
“It’s nice to see each other occasionally when we live apart, but if we lived together, conflicts would be inevitable.”
“That’s how we’d truly get close, though.”
“It’s best if we each live our own lives and do our part. Besides, you and Son-in-law Cha are already close to me, even without all the bickering.”
“I know that.”
Hyewan playfully linked her arm with Min-suk’s. Seeing her daughter grow more affectionate after marriage brought a lump to Min-suk’s throat.
“Hyewan.”
Min-suk gently stroked the back of her daughter’s soft hand.
“Yes, Mom?”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever had to lean on in my life. I never had time for anything else because I was too busy making sure you never went hungry. Now, I can hold my head high thanks to you. You are my greatest joy.”
“I know. You went through so much to raise me, Mom.”
“That’s just what parents do. Everyone goes through it.”
Min-suk gazed tenderly at Hyewan’s face.
“My beautiful daughter… I’m afraid I’ll wear you out just by looking at you.”
“Mom, stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
“You’re still young.”
“I know.”
Hyewan knew exactly why her mother was doing this. She’d known the moment she walked through the door.
“Every time I had your fortune read, they said you were destined to have a child. The timing is the only issue—it’ll happen. And if it doesn’t, well, you can just live as a DINK couple or whatever they call it these days.”
“I want to have a baby.”
“I know you do. But isn’t that why it’s so hard? Because it’s not something you can just decide. Just keep living your life, and Haetsal will send you a smart little one when the time is right.”
Just hearing Haetsal’s name made Hyewan’s nose tingle.
“Son-in-law Cha is walking on eggshells around you, so he’s practically wasting away. Did you know that?”
“Wasting away? I hadn’t noticed.”
“That’s because you only see one thing at a time,” Min-suk chided gently. “The most important people are the ones right here beside you. Your husband, your family, your friends. You don’t know Bora’s pregnant, do you?”
“Bora’s pregnant?” Hyewan asked, startled. “How do you know, Mom?”
“Son-in-law Cha told me. He said he and Chief Lee were agonized over how to tell you. And as for Son-in-law Cha… well, you know how he is.”
“I can’t believe them! Why are they leaving me out of things like this?”
Hyewan felt hurt. Deeply hurt.
“How could they tell me that? I’m the one constantly peeing on pregnancy tests!”
“Still, that’s no reason! Your business is your business, but Bora’s pregnancy is something to celebrate!”
Yet, Hyewan felt no jealousy. Only a genuine sense of Good for her. Congratulations. I’m so happy for her.
She felt a wave of relief wash over her as she realized her spirit hadn’t completely broken.
“Let’s live our lives being grateful for the things we can be grateful for. You’ll be starting school soon, and once you’re busy, you’ll have less time to stress about getting pregnant.”
“I know.”
“Your Aunt Gyeong-ae and I go to the temple once a month to see Haetsal. The weather is always beautiful when we go—that boy is a real filial son. He’ll be the same for you, so just trust me and wait.”
Hyewan hugged Min-suk tightly.
“Mom, don’t get sick. Stay with me for a long, long time. I’ll take good care of you.”
“You’re already a perfect daughter.”
The candid conversation with Min-suk was enough to help Hyewan regain her composure. She decided to fold away her sadness and sorrow, tucking them deep into her heart.
After Min-suk left, Hyewan sent a message to Bora.
Ju Bora, are you busy today? It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. Want to grab dinner? Let’s invite Yundo and the manager too.
She sent the whole thing at once, leaving no room for the conversation to wander off course.
Surprisingly, Bora’s reply was slow, which was unlike her usual impatient self. Hyewan could practically picture Bora agonizing over the perfect response.
Bet.
Hyewan smiled. She could almost feel Bora’s frustration—writing and erasing, writing and erasing, only to send a single word.
Hyewan and Yundo met Bora and her husband at the Italian restaurant they’d reserved. The tension between the four of them—or more accurately, the three excluding Hyewan—was stretched so thin it felt ready to snap.
I really wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, Hyewan thought, her heart sinking with regret.
“Bora,” she said.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Why are you so surprised? That’s not good for the baby.”
“Huh? What?”
“Honey?”
“Sister-in-law?”
Bora, Yundo, and Dong-yeong all exclaimed in shock.
“How did you know?” they asked.
“My mom told me,” Hyewan explained. “The three of you must have suffered so much trying to keep this from me. Bora, congratulations.”
“…Thanks,” Bora replied, her eyes darting to Hyewan, her expression fraught with anxiety. She was the type who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, yet she’d been forced to hold this in, leaving her completely paralyzed. Normally, Bora would have been gloating like she owned the world.
“Ju Bora, I’m not such a terrible person that I’d be jealous of my only friend. I’m genuinely happy and congratulating you on becoming a mom.”
“Right? That’s why you’re my friend.”
Bora threw her arms around Hyewan in a tight hug.
“Seriously, congratulations. And congratulations to you too, Dong-yeong.”
Dong-yeong scratched the back of his head. “Thanks. We were supposed to wait our turn, but we ended up cutting in line.”
“What does ‘waiting your turn’ have to do with getting pregnant? Your baby came when it was time.”
Hyewan linked her arm with Yundo’s, feeling the tension in his muscles.
“For now, we’ve decided to focus on my studies.”
Yundo looked at her in surprise.
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