Chapter 28
by GideonJuhyeon had developed a new habit. Every chance he got, he’d stop staring at his banking app and sink into deep thought, asking himself a series of probing questions.
The subject of his contemplation? Lee Taemo.
Am I interested in Lee Taemo? Yes, that was true. Ever since they first crossed paths in the neighborhood, he’d been a figure of endless curiosity.
Do I like Lee Taemo? That… probably wasn’t it. Though he’d grown a bit more comfortable with him lately, Taemo had always been a terrifying man. His fear outweighed any affection.
Then what’s the strongest emotion I feel when I think of him? These days, it was resentment. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason, but he found himself feeling resentful more and more often.
Taemo would hand Juhyeon a thick stack of bills and make a deal for just about anything. It started with the smallest errands and extended to the jobs he needed for contract killings. He even treated eating or drinking together like a business transaction, always making sure to pay Juhyeon. Even though that was the very thing Juhyeon had welcomed—the reason he’d taken Taemo’s hand in the first place.
Fine, let’s say I can put up with that because it keeps my bank account full, Juhyeon thought. But there was a different kind of resentment, one that couldn’t be resolved with money.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
Even after they’d arrived at the karaoke room, Taemo had spent a long time staring at his phone before abruptly getting up to leave. He walked away without a single backward glance, showing absolutely no reluctance. Juhyeon’s eyes silently followed Taemo’s retreating figure.
He always bailed halfway through their karaoke sessions, like he was just punching a time clock. He did it every single day. At least today he’d stayed for a bit; yesterday, he’d left without even stepping foot inside, and she couldn’t tell you how hurt that had made her.
“Where’s he off to now?”
“Seo Jinyoung, obviously.”
The most infuriating part was that whenever he left like this, he was always going to see Seo Jinyoung.
“Again?”
“That’s how he is when he takes a job from Seo Jinyoung. He calls him at all hours. It’s a fucking pain.”
Seo Jinyoung isn’t calling him because of a job, she thought. His attention had always been fixed on Lee Taemo. The image of Seo Jinyoung waiting in a hotel room, draped only in a robe, flashed through her mind.
“Then just don’t accept it. Wouldn’t it be better to take on other jobs instead?”
“He said he’s doing the work of several people. Still, it’s a relief he’s not dragging us along. I was sick of being summoned to play the fake boyfriend anyway.”
He’d told me he used to bring Kang-i along before I joined. Seo Jinyoung knew about Kang-i’s existence, too. That meant he’d been keeping someone around to act as his boyfriend for a long time. So why wasn’t he doing it anymore? He wouldn’t even bring up the idea of us moving together if it involved Seo Jinyoung.
“…But I guess he doesn’t need to do that anymore.”
“Who knows? He’ll figure it out. It’s easier to just ignore whatever Lee Taemo doesn’t explain.”
“…”
Kang-i was right. Juhyeon had only joined them to make a lot of money. He just needed to find the right moment to step away. They didn’t give him any troublesome tasks or drag him all over the place, and they paid him regularly. That should have been enough.
He knew it in his head, but his heart kept churning. Juhyeon quietly rubbed his chest, but the nausea wouldn’t subside. He just wanted to know why he felt so hurt by Lee Taemo.
Taemo reappeared at Superman Noraebang half a day later, slipping into the room while Kang-i was away on a call. Without a word of greeting, he just walked in.
Juhyeon asked tentatively, “Hyung, where did you go?”
“Work.”
“What kind of—”
Just as Juhyeon was about to ask what kind of work he’d been doing, Kang-i walked into the room. Juhyeon’s lips snapped shut.
Taemo and Kang-i didn’t even exchange a greeting. They just locked eyes for a moment before looking away. I should be able to do that too, Juhyeon thought. Why can’t I just act like that?
“Hey, rookie. Run an errand for me.”
“…”
Kang-i was calling for Juhyeon again. He had wanted to talk to Taemo. When Juhyeon didn’t respond immediately and just lingered, he felt Kang-i’s questioning gaze. By the time he snapped out of it and tried to answer, Taemo’s voice cut in first.
“He won’t move unless you pay him.”
The words were playful, but strangely, Juhyeon found himself speechless. Even though there wasn’t a single lie in the statement, it still left him stunned. Am I getting too comfortable? he wondered. Am I starting to want something more than just money?
“Oh, right.”
Kang-i slapped his forehead with his palm and started rummaging through his pockets. He’d just handed over a few bills, complaining about not having much cash, but they were nowhere to be seen. Juhyeon, holding the bills and some scraps of paper, hovered around Taemo.
Even as he lingered, moving with a deliberate slowness, Taemo didn’t spare him a single glance. He was treating him like a ghost.
“Um, are you going to stay here?”
“Yeah. Go on ahead.”
Taemo dragged out the last word, waving his hand dismissively. Still, he could at least look me in the eye when I say goodbye. Juhyeon kept stealing glances at Taemo, who remained focused on the documents scattered across the table. Finally, he turned to leave, his gaze still fixed on Taemo’s broad back until he stepped out the door.
Stepping out of the cool, dim karaoke room, Juhyeon was hit by a wave of stifling heat. Sweat already trickled down his back after just a short walk. He fanned himself with his hand, sticking to the shadows as he moved. Still, the department store—his destination—wasn’t far, so the walk wasn’t too bad.
He went to the shop Kang-i had mentioned and picked up the item he’d left there. Carrying only the single, heavy shopping bag, Juhyeon was passing by the rows of stores when he came to a sudden halt.
For your cozy, deep night.
His gaze was drawn to a painting of the moon and the promotional slogan beside it. Unable to simply walk past, Juhyeon stepped closer, carefully reading every word of the small print. It seemed to be a fragrance designed to aid sleep.
Deep sleep. The dead of night. A silhouette in the darkness, unable to even lie comfortably in bed.
A certain person naturally came to mind.
Even though he himself couldn’t sleep properly, either.
Juhyeon bombarded the approaching employee, who wore a polite smile, with a flurry of questions.
“Does this really help you sleep? Even if you have insomnia?”
Shopping was never his thing, so he rarely spoke to store employees. He’d never even glanced at places like this before, fearing he might get tempted. This was the first time in his life a single promotional phrase had completely captivated him.
“It’s not a 100% cure like medication,” the employee explained. “It’s more of a support. The scent relaxes your mind and body, helping you fall asleep more easily than before.”
“Ah.”
“The base notes are lavender and phytoncide.”
Juhyeon listened to the employee’s explanation as if entranced. From what she heard, it sounded like it would work for just about anyone. She nodded slowly, her eyes drifting to the price tag.
Gasp.
What? This tiny thing is over 50,000 won?
Her eyes widened. To Juhyeon, that was a significant amount of money—enough to cover two days’ worth of meals. After seeing the price, the employee’s words faded into the background. She murmured that she’d think about it and stood before the pillow mist for several minutes.
“…”
Memories of the nights they’d spent watching movies together until dawn flashed through her mind. She couldn’t recall a single detail of the films, but she remembered the sound of his breathing beside her. She remembered how sensitive he was, his eyes snapping open at the slightest sound of a beer can being placed on the table.
Taemo wasn’t seeing a doctor, nor did he seem to be making any effort to sleep. It’s a bit expensive, but wouldn’t it be good to have?
By the time Juhyeon reached the store, the heat that had flushed his body on the walk over had completely faded, replaced by a chill. He gnawed on his lower lip, staring intensely at the moon-patterned item until he finally made his decision.
“I’ll take this one. Please wrap it for me.”
They say you have to spend money to learn how to spend it, he thought. Buying things like this at a department store would surely help him later. This could be the chance to get a little closer to Lee Taemo. Maybe he’d even get another one of Taemo’s glances. As that thought crossed his mind, he felt the heat rushing back into his cold cheeks.
Juhyeon walked out of the department store, two shopping bags in hand. He stared at the smaller one, a silly grin spreading across his face. He’d bought Kang a shirt before, but that had practically been forced on him. This gift, however, came straight from the heart—and the thought of it made his pulse quicken.
If he uses this, he’ll fall into a deep sleep every night. We won’t be able to watch movies together in the early hours anymore. It was a shame, but as long as Kang could sleep peacefully, that was all that mattered.
Sweating profusely, Juhyeon hurried back to the karaoke room. The front desk was empty, and there was no sign of anyone else around. They must both be inside the room. He was about to head straight there when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.
“Ah, maybe I should’ve bought two?”
It would be a bit awkward to give it to him right in front of Kang-i, since I didn’t even buy one for him, Juhyeon thought, scratching his forehead vigorously as he hurriedly scanned his surroundings.
He bypassed the counter and headed for a small refrigerator tucked away in the corner of the entrance. He opened the top one of the two stacked units. Inside the shabby, unlit refrigerator, he placed the shopping bag. Then, he turned and walked away with a light step.
All the disappointment he’d felt throughout the day vanished. Now, his mind was filled with only one thought: How should I give him the gift?
Juhyeon swung the room door open with a light, buoyant motion. The first thing he did was check if Taemo was there.
Taemo had moved to the seat Juhyeon had just vacated. His gaze was still fixed on the documents.
His hand, resting on the table, held a slightly curved knife. He spun the razor-sharp blade, folded it, and ran his fingertip along its spine—all without sparing a single glance. The movements were fluid and seamless.
Handling the knife seemed as natural as breathing. It suited the cold, lethal gleam of the blade perfectly. A chilling aura filled the room, just like the first time Juhyeon had witnessed him commit a murder.
“…”
Juhyeon stood there, able to do nothing but watch Taemo. It felt as if a murderous tension was swirling around him.
Taemo must have known Juhyeon had entered the room and was standing there, staring at him. Yet he still paid no mind. In the silence of the room, the only sound was the faint whoosh of the knife cutting through the air. Just then—
Thwack!
The blade that had been spinning in Taemo’s large hand slammed into the table. Juhyeon flinched, his shoulders jerking in surprise. The cold steel was buried in the center of a document, pinning down a photograph of someone’s face.
“Do you recognize this person?”
So he finally acknowledges me. Juhyeon’s gaze wasn’t on the photo, but on Taemo’s lowered eyes. When Juhyeon didn’t respond, Taemo’s eyebrow twitched slightly. He lifted his gaze without raising his head, his expression fierce.
The moment their eyes met, Juhyeon’s mind went completely blank.
“Do you know them?”
“…What? Ah…”
The memory of Taemo’s breath and the touch against his lips kept resurfacing, and the image of those dark, deep eyes he’d stared into from so close still flickered in his mind.
Juhyeon hurried to his feet. He leaned over, examining the photo pinned to the table. It was a straightforward, clear shot. But the face in it was completely unfamiliar.
“I… I don’t know who this is.”
“You’ve never seen him before?”
“…No.”
Juhyeon glanced at the photo one last time before answering, certain he didn’t recognize the man. He kept his voice low and hesitant, his eyes darting to Taemo to gauge his reaction.
Taemo’s brow furrowed as he swiftly yanked the knife out of the photo.
“Fine, then.”
Snick, snick. With a few deft, practiced motions, he wiped the blade clean and tucked it into his shirt pocket.
Then, silence fell between them again. Juhyeon couldn’t remember their conversations ever being this stilted. The air felt thick and suffocatingly awkward. He stole another glance at Taemo, who still wasn’t paying him any attention, and slowly lowered himself onto the sofa.
“Where’s Kang-i? I brought this for him…”
“Showering.”
“Ah, okay.”
The terse reply killed any desire to keep the conversation going. The silence was so heavy that the sound of Juhyeon swallowing dryly felt jarringly loud.
“…”
Should I just give him the gift now? It’s better to do it before Kang-i comes out.
Just as Juhyeon shifted his weight to stand up and grab the shopping bag, the door swung open. Missing his chance, he awkwardly sank back onto the sofa.
“You took a detour, didn’t you?”
Kang-i walked in, shaking out his damp hair, his eyes narrowing. It sounded like a playful tease, but for someone with a guilty conscience, the words were a direct hit.
“What? A detour? Where would I even go? I ran the whole way. Can’t you see I’m sweating?”
Lee Taemo was so perceptive he might realize I’d been late because I’d gone out to buy a gift. Of course, it didn’t seem like he kept tabs on what I did outside. I stole a glance at him, but he seemed completely oblivious to anyone else’s presence in the room. His eyes remained glued to the documents, whatever was so important that he couldn’t look away.
“Why would you run in this heat? Your face is beet red.”
“…It’s summer, so of course it’s hot. You should try going outside sometimes.”
“Are you crazy? Your skin will break out.”
Kang-i, who had just snapped back at him, pressed the back of his hand against Juhyeon’s cheek. His skin felt cool, as if he’d just washed it with cold water.
“Your face is freaking hot.”
“Ah, so cold! Seriously…!”
The two of them burst into laughter, their reactions polar opposites. Kang-i giggled, covering his mouth, finding something incredibly amusing. He looked less like an older brother and more like an elementary school nephew. Juhyeon scratched his chilled cheek and shifted further into the sofa. Kang-i flopped down into the space he’d just vacated.
“You two have gotten close.”
Taemo’s low voice suddenly cut in between them.
“I’d believe you if you said you were brothers.”
“That doesn’t sound like a compliment,” Kang-i said, crossing his arms and glaring. Juhyeon agreed, but he’d lost the chance to protest. He just shut his mouth and pushed the shopping bag he’d brought over toward Kang-i.
“You said you wanted a younger sibling, but you seem to fucking love this kid.”
“I meant a baby. Not a creepy, fully grown one like this.”
The conversation flowed as usual—not particularly meaningful, just the usual banter. Juhyeon quietly withdrew from the exchange, his eyes stealing glances at Taemo whenever he found a chance.
“…”
Taemo’s attitude hadn’t changed much after the kiss. Was he too drunk to remember? Did he mistake me for Seo Jinyoung in his drunken stupor? Or was he remembering everything but pretending not to out of embarrassment?
I wanted to ask about that day, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I was afraid they’d say they couldn’t stand having someone around who overanalyzed meaningless actions.
Now, these two were the only people Juhyeon had left to lean on. It was better to play along and stay in their good graces as long as possible—until the day he got all the money he wanted and they could all walk away cleanly.
The three of them had dinner together today. Juhyeon kept hugging his backpack to his chest throughout the meal, his mind constantly on the small shopping bag inside. He’d almost been caught when Kang-i suddenly stepped into the hallway just as he was secretly moving the bag from the broken refrigerator into his backpack. His heart had nearly stopped. He’d been sure he was about to be found out.
Still, I’d managed to keep the gift a secret this long. I’d thought it would be perfect to give it to him on the way home after dropping Kang-i off at the karaoke bar, but as luck would have it, Juhyeon was the first one dropped off. The excuse was that he had somewhere to go with Kang-i. At least I hadn’t been caught with the gift.
After getting home and showering, I waited in the living room for Taemo to return. Eight, nine, ten… The hours slipped by. By the time it passed midnight, I started to get worried.
Why is he so late?
He’d been coming home late more often lately, but I couldn’t help but feel anxious. I stared at my phone for a long time, typing and deleting messages over and over.
Where are you? No, that sounded too demanding.
When will you be home? That showed I was waiting for him too much.
Are you busy with work?
“……He’s busy. That’s why he’s not back yet.”
No matter how hard he racked his brain, all he came up with were stupid-sounding messages. He could have just sent a simple, casual text, but he was too worried it would be misread. After writhing in frustration and tormenting his keypad for a long time, Juhyeon tossed his phone into the corner of the sofa.
“Ah, whatever.”
He’ll come back when he’s done. Not like he’d run away from this expensive house.
…Run away?
The moment the word crossed his mind, his stomach churned. Why would Lee Taemo run away? He’s not Dongwoo-hyung. Juhyeon’s gaze fell on the small shopping bag hidden under the table. Its corners were crushed from him clutching and fidgeting with it so much. It wasn’t as if the feelings he’d packed into the gift were crushed along with it, but he found himself smoothing out the creases anyway.
“…”
The silence that filled the spacious house felt like it was suffocating me. I collapsed onto the sofa and closed my eyes. Strangely, my stomach kept churning.
I must have fallen asleep while lying there, dead to the world. When I finally opened my eyes, feeling groggy, the TV was off. The bright living room lights had been replaced by the dim glow of a single indirect lamp.
Juhyeon, who had been blinking blankly, suddenly shot to his feet. The blanket draped over his shoulders slid down to his thighs.
“…He must have come.”
I hadn’t even noticed Taemo’s arrival, as there hadn’t been a single sound. Juhyeon quickly turned his head. The bedroom door remained shut tight, just as it had been before. I couldn’t tell if Lee Taemo was still inside or if he had already left. The faint traces left around the living room weren’t enough to say for sure.
Juhyeon hurriedly pulled the blanket aside and grabbed the shopping bag he’d tucked under the table. He smoothed out its crumpled corners, walking softly as he moved.
“…”
Juhyeon’s hand, fist lightly clenched, froze in mid-air. Should I knock? He hesitated, his mind racing. What if he’s asleep? What if he just stopped by and left already? He wondered where the courage had gone—the same courage that had allowed him to open the door without knocking before.
After pacing before the closed door for a long time, Juhyeon finally sank to the floor. He decided he would only move if he heard a sound from inside. He leaned his back against the door, sitting cross-legged. With the TV off, he’d be able to sense even the faintest stirring within.
But only a heavy silence hung in the air. Not a sound came from behind Taemo’s closed door.
Should I just go in?
I considered it, but the memory of his hot breath against my lips made me shake my head.
“…Hmph.”
Why am I the only one acting like this? It’s not like I even like Lee Taemo. He’s the one who likes men, not me. So why do I keep staring at his lips and replaying that moment over and over? Am I just that starved for affection?
Or maybe I can’t forget the way his eyes tangled with mine when our lips met—those eyes that looked just as desolate and lonely as I felt.
Unable to sleep, Juhyeon sat outside Lee Taemo’s door for a long time. He wasn’t doing anything, yet he wasn’t bored. He kept his gaze fixed on the black sky visible through the gap in the wide-open curtains. Still, there was no sign of movement from inside, and the night sky gradually turned a faint, dusky gray.
Fidgeting with the shopping bag, Juhyeon finally stood up. He then placed the bag down in front of the door.
“…I can’t stay up all night.”
He couldn’t afford to lose a whole night’s sleep for the sake of tomorrow. He had wanted to give the gift in person and see Taemo’s reaction. It was a shame, but he had no reason to be stubborn.
As he walked to his own room across the hall, he kept glancing back over his shoulder. Even then, Taemo’s door remained closed, leaving only the pastel-toned shopping bag sitting quietly in front of it. The color was completely out of place in this bleak house.
The shopping bag seemed to represent Lee Taemo and Woo Juhyeon themselves.
Thump, thump.
Juhyeon suppressed his racing heart and hurried into his room, praying that the sound of his pounding chest wouldn’t be heard through the door.
⊹ ⊹ ⊹
After tossing and turning for a long time, Juhyeon finally fell asleep. He sank into a dreamless slumber, only to be awakened by the scorching sunlight on his cheek.
“Ugh…”
With summer approaching, the rays of light were relentlessly hot. Juhyeon finally opened his eyes, frowning. He blinked slowly a few times, and as soon as he realized the room was already bright, he forced himself up.
Is Lee Taemo here?
He dragged his heavy, weak body out of the room.
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