Chapter 19: Composure Shattered
by GideonSuddenly, our fingers were interlaced. The moment I realized this wasn’t an accidental touch—that it was completely deliberate—my heart began to race wildly.
Hiding my panic as best I could, I tried to pull my hand away.
“What are you doing? Let go.”
“Just kiss me instead.”
There was no time to argue.
Zion tightened his grip on my hand and yanked me toward him with a single, powerful tug of his arm.
Even after seeing the shock in my eyes, he didn’t hesitate. He crashed his lips against mine.
The moment our lips met, I could practically hear my composure shattering in my mind. The question Are you crazy? died in my throat, swallowed whole.
He tilted his head, guiding me as he poured a seamless kiss onto my lips.
He deepened the kiss, slipping further into my mouth, sharing short breaths as if hoping I would surrender to his tempo.
The pheromones Zion released with each flick of his tongue rapidly stabilized Jubin’s own erratic scent.
It was faster than a cigarette and more potent than a fresh chip.
His body and mind craved more of Zion’s pheromones, but he knew that if he took in any more, he would surely lose his last shred of reason.
Jubin pushed Zion’s tongue away and slowly pulled his lips apart. A wet, sticky sound echoed between them.
“Stop… that’s enough.”
Too embarrassed to meet Zion’s gaze, Jubin looked away. Zion slowly unclasped their fingers and pressed the cigarette he’d been holding into Jubin’s hand.
“Do you still need this?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Jubin shook off Zion’s hand and immediately lit the cigarette. The kiss had sent both his hormones and pheromones spiraling, leaving his fingers trembling as he held the cigarette.
“Take your time with your cigarette.”
He tapped a stray strand of Jubin’s messy bangs back into place with his fingertips before stepping out of the smoking room.
Jubin took a deep drag and exhaled sharply.
“Huuu…”
With his free hand, he roughly swept back the bangs Zion had just so carefully smoothed. He took another fast, deep pull of the cigarette.
Side effects be damned.
If they’d kept kissing for even a second longer, he wouldn’t have been stabilizing his pheromones—he would have been completely overwhelmed by them.
Zion might have been fine since he was immune to his own pheromones, but Jubin? He might have stripped his pants right there in the smoking room in broad daylight, begging for just one round.
“Fuck, seriously…”
Do Zion, who just went in for that kiss, and me, who let him… we’re both fucking insane.
Who knew it could be this lethal?
Jubin took his time with the cigarette, dragging in each breath as deeply as possible, waiting for his pheromones to stabilize.
Who knows? he thought. What if my pheromones suddenly flared up during a meal? Zion would notice, vault over the table, and cause a goddamn scene.
The mere thought sent a shiver down his spine.
“Fuck… I need another chip.”
He concluded it was his only option.
Jubin focused on finishing his cigarette, savoring it to the very last puff. After all, this might be his final one before he quit.
Even so, the thought of Zion waiting for him gnawed at his nerves, and he hurried out of the smoking area.
From the outside, the smoking room looked like a sealed chamber, its interior almost completely hidden. He breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the risk of being spotted was low.
Do Zion… could he have known all along and targeted me on purpose? The suspicion suddenly took root in his mind.
Maybe it was because he’d smoked longer than usual, but his clothes and hands were absolutely caked in the scent of pheromone-laced cigarettes.
He deliberately pressed his nose against his shoulder to double-check.
…He’ll hate this, won’t he?
Of course he will.
Jubin hurried to the restroom, washed his hands thoroughly, and even spritzed himself with the fabric refresher available on the side.
Guided by a staff member, he made his way to the private room.
After taking a small, steadying breath, he opened the door. The table was already set. Zion, his eyes fixed on his phone, spoke without looking up.
“You’re here?”
Jubin felt a wave of relief. If Zion had greeted him with a smile and direct eye contact, he probably would have turned around and run away.
“You could have started eating without me.”
“I just got here.”
Zion remained focused on his phone for a while. Jubin assumed he was probably sending real-time updates to his fans about the delicious food.
Zion looked up and gestured for Jubin to start eating first.
“Sorry. This is an urgent message, so please go ahead.”
Seeing that his own phone remained silent, Jubin figured it wasn’t a paid fan message.
“Sure, I’ll start. Take your time.”
The aroma of the neatly arranged food whetted Jubin’s appetite. He had always loved meals served with such care.
The orderly presentation calmed his mind, offering the simple pleasure of choice and balance. A beautifully set table always felt like a gift—a well-organized day wrapped in a meal.
He took a bite of the most appetizing piece of galbi with a mouthful of rice, and a genuine exclamation escaped his lips.
“This is delicious.”
“I’m glad. Please, eat a lot.”
Zion looked up again, his lips curving into a smile. He’s so handsome. Just… ridiculously handsome.
The sheer impact of that smile instantly dissolved Jubin’s resolve to bring up what had happened in the smoking room earlier.
They say good looks can excuse anything, he thought, exasperated by his own reaction.
“If things go well, we…”
We? You and me?
Jubin paused mid-bite, his chopsticks hovering as he studied the way Zion’s lips moved.
“…might even be able to eat together in the SUB Entertainment cafeteria.”
Is he talking about the merger between SUB and MOON Entertainment? Am I even allowed to know about that? Jubin’s thoughts raced, unable to find his footing.
“How many years is your contract with MOON Entertainment?”
Jubin chewed his food thoroughly before swallowing and replying.
“I asked for one year…”
At the mention of “one year,” Zion’s eyes widened as if they were about to pop out of his head.
“CEO Moon actually agreed to that?”
“No.”
Jubin added, a faint, ambiguous smile playing on his lips.
“Three years is longer than that.”
Zion’s heart finally steadied, relieved by the news, but he still couldn’t help but sound disappointed.
“…But you’re not a rookie anymore, sunbae.”
He thought he knew why Jubin was saying this, and the thought left him feeling conflicted. There was absolutely no reason for Jubin to feel sorry or guilty toward him.
Truthfully, though, Zion was more concerned about the fact that Jubin hadn’t even touched his food yet.
“What difference does being a rookie make? I’ve been on hiatus for six years.”
“Still, it’s not just anyone—it’s you, Cha Jubin.”
Hearing those words from his own mouth was almost funny. Just how much of an idol am I in your head? Zion wondered.
“I’m not on Do Zion’s level, am I?” Jubin replied casually, piling a generous portion of side dishes and rice into a single bite.
The quality of the food was impressive—the kind of meal he could easily enjoy even if he’d come here alone.
“Try this. I know you like it.”
Jubin slid the plate of braised tofu from in front of himself to Do Zion.
“…You knew I liked tofu?”
First the noodles, and now this. He’d guessed Zion’s favorite foods twice in a row. Jubin quickly scrambled for an excuse.
“Former athletes always instinctively crave protein. I figured you’d be the same.”
Zion let out a soft “Ah,” then finally put down his phone, picked up his utensils, and started eating.
For a while, they ate in silence, so focused on the meal that they hardly noticed the lull in conversation.
“CEO Moon hasn’t changed a bit,” Zion said after a few bites, breaking the silence.
“Still the same, huh?”
“It felt like no time had passed since I saw him yesterday.”
“He’s always been like that. A bit… soft-hearted, and always so fond of people…”
“He still can’t bring himself to say anything harsh. He always tries to find something nice to say, no matter what.”
“He’ll probably find it even harder to say no.”
The two shared a look and burst into laughter at the same time. CEO Moon Woo-jin had always been a good man.
That’s probably why he came to see me and tried to convince me to give him acting lessons, Jubin thought, stirring his soup as he continued.
“He’s too nice for his own good.”
“Surprisingly, he can be incredibly sharp in the most unexpected ways. Almost too sharp.”
Cha Jubin nodded vigorously in agreement. He’d received a lot of help thanks to that very sharpness.
If only he had that kind of intuition for business, he would’ve made a fortune. But anyway, CEO Moon Woo-jin was never cut out for business.
“Sunbae.”
The man called out to him in a low voice after a long silence. When he calls me that, it’s actually terrifying.
That specific way he says ‘Sunbae.’
Jubin looked up, his body tensed with nerves.
“We…”
Once again, that single word—we—struck a chord, sending his heart racing.
Normally, we was a word used to draw someone into one’s daily life or express a sense of belonging.
My boundaries are already gone, Jubin thought, bracing himself so he wouldn’t be startled by whatever came next.
“Let’s go for drinks after your acting class.”
Does he even realize how much we’ve been clinging to each other since we reunited? Jubin raised an index finger, signaling for Zion to wait, then finished swallowing his food before asking, “Aren’t you busy these days?”
“Moderately? I think I’ll be free soon.”
Free soon?
Now that he thought about it, Zion’s contract was probably nearing its end. It was a time when he’d be facing a lot of dilemmas.
The fact that Zion had gone to see CEO Moon Woo-jin in person made Jubin wonder if he was acting this way because he was anxious.
When Jubin didn’t answer right away, Zion subtly gauged his reaction.
“Do you have plans that day?”
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